Quitting

Being a quitter is easy for some things...for others it is down right torture!

Quit:

The cigarettes that are ruining your lungs
The food that has total control over you and your waistline
The friend that you cannot let rule your life anymore
The Internet sites that suck all of your day away
The job that keeps you away from your family too much
I could go on and on.....and for all of us it is different things or multiple things

Whatever the bad habit happens to be, it is hard to change habits.

I am faced with just such a challenge these days and it is a 26 year smoking habit.  I don't know how to be an adult without being a smoker.  I don't know how to go to social functions without being a smoker.  Oh boy!  this is going to be a huge switch.  What's the difference from all of the other times I have tried to quit smoking, you ask?  Well this time I told my 4 1/2 yo who has already been asking me to stop.  I have basically all but announced it on a social media site to all of my "friends".  I am having a severe asthma issue on the (semi) heels of pneumonia.  Yeah, it's time.  I can't keep coming up with excuses and I have to push forward.  Not that those excuses aren't coming up in my head regularly.  They are. I have my 25 year class reunion coming up, I may have to buy a pack that night.  It's only one night, then I can put them away. Uggh....see there are always these thoughts.  EVERY time I have tried to quit.    I thought about going to the store last night.  I thought about it again today.  I was just thinking about it a few minutes ago.  The key right now is to stay busy any way I can, and I have a HUGE list of things I have always wanted to do but "never got around to it".  On of them is to keep up with my blog and learn how to make it a cool place to hang out.  I don't seem to get around to doing that........

Stevie Nicks - Landslide

Challenges and Joys

• Keeping a 10 month old safe but yet not confined.
• Putting food on the table that the 4 yo will not only try but actually eat.
• Keeping TV time to a minimum even though it is quiet time for me. ;-)
• Challenging the children to learn new things on a regular basis while still making it fun.
• Being honest with all dealings with people, without necessarily sharing every thought in my head.
• Putting yourself out there to try new things on a regular basis.
• Patience in many many many things that I would rather NOT be patient about.
• Being at peace with "where" I am at the moment.
• Holding my tongue when I have something I feel needs to be said, though it probably only feels that way to me.

• Watching the baby do something for the first time.  
• The joy in your child's face when they reconnect with you after a day away.
• Knowing that you made a difference in someone's life today.
• Connecting with loved ones, especially ones that you haven't talked to recently!
• Having a productive conversation with someone whom you have a strong difference of opinion.
• Healthy children
• Wonderful friends
• Stepping up to a challenge and succeeding!

Mother's Day

As I check on my babies before going to bed myself, it strikes me...I always wanted to be a mother.

I can remember wanting to hold my children in my arms and love them with all that I am.  I wanted to teach them as much as I could, the best way I knew how. 

Though, my life isn't what I had envisioned, God entrusted me with these two souls.  It is my job to try to mold them into fully functioning, happy, well adjusted adults.  I will always do my very best to do just that.  I know I am not perfect, nor will I never make a mistake...probably many...but I can do my very best!!!

I am so blessed!!   I go to bed tonight with just that thought.

Ya know there are just some days where you have to hit the restart button....sometimes multiple times. 

Today has been one of those days!  Two sick kids, a car in the shop, a loaner car with a spare tire because the other one went flat and a dizzy head makes for a lousy day.  Waiting to hear from the dealer about the car makes me cranky....cranky kids makes me cranky....a lousy soandso makes me really cranky!  I keep trying to start this day over and over again and make it a happy day.  Well, easier said than done with all of this!

So, when I am just about to loose my cool {;-)  or actually just as I am starting to rant like a crazy person}  I get a call from the most wonderful neighbor asking what I need for help today.  She is a good listener and makes sure to tell me that she is here to help with whatever I need.  Her phone call was just the reminder I needed that there are many wonderful people in my life that are there to help out, even if it is just another person on the end of a phone or the Internet to give comfort or just to listen.

I will not say this day has started over and is all better....because I have had to "reboot" this day twice in the couple of hours it has taken me to write this blog.  I will say that I recognize a blessing and feel better knowing that I have what I need, I just have to tap into it when I feel like I am going to crack!

This is going to be a Serenity Prayer day.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and Wisdom to know the difference.

I am feeling stronger every day!

There is nothing like serious heartache to make you rethink your life.  The news was over a year ago, and I am definitely feeling stronger and stronger as 2011 moves forward.  There are new friends in my life.  Old friends who have shown me how much I mean to them.  Family who has vowed to be there for me, even though they are my ex's family of origin.
To those who have listened to me cry over and over, thank you for your patience cause I couldn't have gotten through it without shedding those tears.  To those who helped nudge me forward, I thank you too cause sometimes we all need a little push!
I have a renewed faith in my Lord and that is due to the blessings of my strong Christian friends and family.
As my MIL says...we cannot stop in the middle we have to go through it.  Though my "through it" isn't completely over, I feel like I have done the bulk of the work and have come out the other end a stronger me!

A Little Bit Stronger - Sara Evans [w/ lyrics]

Linkin Park - Waiting For The End [Official Video] (2010)

Here I go....

Ya see!!....I made Progress, not Perfection the title of this blog because it is a trap I fall into often.  I have not blogged because I was looking for something thought provoking...astounding....or inspirational to say!  Yeah, well there ya go.  I didn't blog for what, how long???  Weeks? I ask you....What's the point of having a blog if you aren't going to say anything because you are waiting for it to be perfect?  There is no point.  So all righty then!

Well here I am and I have to give myself permission to NOT try to do just the right thing all the time.  Sometimes just starting to type and put words together the "right" thing could come out.  My life is going in what seems to be a million directions these days and it isn't a wonder I get myself all confused and discombobulated trying to come up with something to talk about.



I have many pans in the fire at the moment and things have fallen through the cracks on some days and picked up the next.   or two or three....  You get the picture. :-)  But eventually, either a deadline makes things get accomplished or I set myself a list and just knock it out.

An idea of what all I have going on....

I am:
*planning a move in the next 5 months or less to another state; which in itself includes oh so much research and thinking, thinking, thinking (sometimes I honestly think I hurt my brain thinking too much)
*working on separation of property papers and figuring out what I really would like to keep
*planning a first visit to a counselor for my boo, to help me help her with changes that are coming
*talking to loved ones about the major changes in our lives
*wrapping my brain around what I want for my life and the lives of boo bear and snuggle bear
*dealing with the emotional aspects of my life plan being completely thrown off track

Making that list makes me tired and I think I need to go rest my head for the night.  More to come, and nothing that needs to be perfect.  :-)

Hello

Hello and welcome to my first ever post.  *do the happy dance*  My plan is to cover many topics including: the challenges and joys of motherhood; recipes that are my favorites or exciting to me; ways to save money and be green; my spiritual journey and anything else that comes to mind.  Heaven knows what I can come up with!  I hope to give my readers (so far just a few of you) :-) something interesting to read.  I am sure this page will have some growing pains.  Like anything in life there is always room for improvement and sometimes it is painful. Speaking of painful....time to go do the dreaded exercise!  Stay tuned.....